Nathan Corwin, B.A., H.R.E.O.

Bachelier · Post by **Bachelier** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 2:41 pm

can't we add a paragraph of him asking to go to the bathroom and then he whacks off to a picture of himself?

and then the entire Yale Ballroom Dance Team bursts in and rogers him with cylindrical fruit?

and then he ends up working at Starbucks and living in his grandmother's basement?

FDAXHunter · Post by **FDAXHunter** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 6:50 pm

Before Vayner could say anything, Nathan pressed on:

"Actually. Don't say anything. I'm going to call Phil Zimmer and see what all this nonsense is about."

With that, he swiveled in his chair so that his back was demonstratively turned towards his visitor and made a call to his friend at UBS.

Zimmer picked up the phone himself and thanks to caller ID greeted him with: "Nathan. How are you?" before Nathan could say anything.

"Hey Phil. I'm okay. Listen…"

With his back still facing Aleksey he launched into a tirade on his current interview guest.

"So this Yale PhD you sent to me."

"Oh yeah, the Shaolin guy."

"Yeah, the Russian-Tibetian-monk-hybrid-gone-loco…."

Phil got excited: "Have you interviewed him?"

"Well… I'm sort of in the process of interviewing him as we speak, although he he doesn't really seem to speak my language. I'm afraid that if I ask him whether he knows what a swap is, he's going to tell me about a threesome he had with Ivana and Donald Trump!"

He could hear laughter on the other end.

"Look, I just wanted to know what precisely you were smoking when you said I might want to hire this guy. Did you start taking PCP again?"

More laughter ensued. Then, after a moment, Phil replied with a cheerful voice:

"Dude… I didn't say you should hire this guy. I said you should [i]interview[/i] him. There's a difference."

"Right. Then pray do tell, why, by the seven hells, I should be sitting here, talking to the biggest fool in the gene pool?"

Nathan didn't care if Vayner heard any of this or not.

Phil chuckled in answer:

"Because he's hilarious! Don't tell me you don't find him entertaining. We had him in for 4 hours and the Spot F/X guys didn't want to let him go. And you know how they have the attention spans of 2 year olds. That's gotta be a good sign, don't you think?"

He thought about this for a moment, then turned his chair to face Aleksey again, who was apparently busy stuffing the side of his shirt down his pants.

He sighed.

"In the same way that a hot tar enema would be good sign, I suppose."

"Don't be so harsh on him. Has he told you the story about the Amazon yet?"

"Amazon? As in 'AMZN'?"

"No. As in 'big-ass river in Brazil'."

Nathan squinted at his opposite, who was now looking disinterestedly out of the window.

"Hm… No, I'm afraid he hasn't gotten to… that part yet."

"Haha… dude it's brilliant! He'll tell you all about how he discovered a tribe of Amazons, you know, warrior chicks, and how they took him captive for two years and how they eventually taught him all sorts of strange mating rituals and instructed him in some sort of voodoo magic to give him demonic powers. They swore him to secrecy one day and let him go. It's absolutely hilarious. Have him tell it!"

"Whatever."

"Don't be such a hard-ass Nathan. It's entertainment, look at it that way. I figured you'd love to talk to this baboon, that he'd be right up your alley. I probably should have told you what was coming, fair enough. Still… try to enjoy the ride. We all here did."

"Fine… next time make sure you let me in on your practical jokes."

"Sorry about that. Will do. Have fun!"

Nathan put down the handset, sighed again and rubbed his eyes. He then positioned his chair squarely in front of Aleksey and folded his hands over his left knee.

"Well, it seems there was a misunderstanding regarding your… ahem… skill set. But I've managed to get the info I need."

He adjusted his posture somewhat and leaned forward and said in an ever-so-slightly-mischievous voice:

"Now, before we continue, Dr. Vayner…. tell me: have you ever been to the Amazon Basin?"

Chuck · Post by **Chuck** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 9:47 pm

Hypothetically speaking, [i]if[/i] FDAX published the book, I'd buy three copies.

saffron · Post by **saffron** » Thu Oct 12, 2006 10:59 pm

What ?!? An interview without a brainteaser ?!? On Wall Street ? Can't be...

Perhaps Nathan should ask Dr. Vayner how many coffee bushes are needed to produce enough pounds of coffee for the consumption of all the Shaolin monks in China (and Tibet) per year ?

See if Dr. Vayner's analytical skills are up to par with his BS 'skills'. Smiley

Kutilya · Post by **Kutilya** » Sun Dec 17, 2006 9:18 pm

dude its time for the x'mas holiday chapter.

Patrik · Post by **Patrik** » Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:22 am

a suggestion for what to build it around: christmas parties - both office parties and broker/client parties should be fruitful grounds for an interesting chapter.

phreak · Post by **phreak** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:53 am

this story is in need of more love from Mr. FDAXhunter.

HyperVolatility · Post by **HyperVolatility** » Thu May 19, 2011 4:46 pm

Im sorry for bringing back up this old thread but I couldn't help myself.

FDAX the story is absolutely G R E A T !!!!

bring some more if youhave got the time to do that !!!

B R I L L I A N T................NP? best phorum ever!! Worship

pj · Post by pj » Thu May 19, 2011 4:53 pm

the story is dead Cry

[url=/Show%20Post.aspx?PostIDKey=59424]I loved this one even more.[/url]

naked · Post by **naked** » Fri May 18, 2012 7:21 pm

haha, this is one of the most entertaining stories I've read in a long time. Thank you FDAX for putting this together over the years!! More when you have time please!