Re: Madman Jack

Nonius · Post by **Nonius** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 7:54 pm

the juices are a flowin again.....ETA departure time TBA.

chiral3 · Post by **chiral3** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 7:58 pm

I always wanted to write a short story with a main character a female, with the name "Blijde Inkomst". I have started it, but it never gels because my only starting point is a name, and the fact that it should have vast sexual metaphors. maybe you can do something

Henrik · Post by **Henrik** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 8:15 pm

Did you know that Inkomst means "revenue" in Swedish?

chiral3 · Post by **chiral3** » Tue Jan 10, 2006 8:24 pm

No, but phonetically it makes sense. I like the ways that it sounds and what it means in Dutch. Such a gutteral language that Dutch.

Henrik · Post by **Henrik** » Wed Jan 11, 2006 1:52 pm

Agree,

Unfortunately, learning Dutch doesn't make sense unless you're looking for a job in the Dutch countryside.

qxy · Post by **qxy** » Wed Jan 11, 2006 11:36 pm

You know what it means in Dutch? I am Dutch, but I actually had to google it (found the explanation, in dutch, here). Or is it also being used for something else that I'm not aware of?

@ Henrik: I guess that it's not very different from Swedish in that respect. Smiley

NIP247 · Post by **NIP247** » Wed Jan 11, 2006 11:42 pm

[i]Unfortunately, learning Dutch doesn't make sense unless you're looking for a job in the Dutch countryside.[/i]

Or if you're dating a dutch girl. Met one in an interview situation a few years ago, she said "you know your name means 'smart' in dutch, so let's find out if you are!" - I don't think she was impressed...

shavinOccam · Post by **shavinOccam** » Thu Jan 12, 2006 10:13 am

who was interviewing whom? Smiley

NIP247 · Post by **NIP247** » Thu Jan 12, 2006 10:18 am

I was the lamb, she was the slaughter... Smiley

Nonius · Post by **Nonius** » Mon Feb 06, 2006 10:46 pm

Look at that bitch over there gingerly sipping on a cappucino before her flight. That insipid earth-toned and subtley exquisite Kensington dress wrapped around that pilate-formed and decidedly dazzling body disgusts me. That glib expression on her face makes me want to vomit the putrid lunch of petrified Swiss meat I gulped down in frenzy just minutes ago. And, I know what she is thinking, and, in fact, I know her story: Trophy wife with first class continental finishing school accolades. She knows how to keep her hands at her side while she speaks, and she knows how to be a good trophy wife to the Continental wanker who lives in Geneva "on the weekend". The subtle glimmering goblit earrings twinkling in the tubelights of this wretched airport makes me so angry I'm really ready to do something about it. Yes, indeed. And that man two idiots away from her, what is his story? Hmmm? Riddle me that? That, that, American with the American Airlines Business Class getup- the Two-buttoned toned-down blazer that hasn't yet seen its shark-skinned days, replete with perfectly-sized Newport Rhode Island say-sailor brass buttons, the upscale drab Khaki pants that shout out "My master drives an old beat up American Car, but he has a BIG house out on the ISLAND", the New England cobbled, sturdy and sailor-ready loafers with lazy tussles that look like the twin dicks of an over-fed American steer, those obnoxious Japanse-condom-thin socks pulled up so tight that they must be rubbing the genitals of this Massively overweight American beast, that quintuple chin that holds the fat of ghosts and genes of overzealous cocktailing, starting with his ancestors Mint Julips and ending with Vodka Tonics on the yacht just a week ago, the simple but pricey wedding band, the not so simple but pricey Swiss Sporty Watch, the Blackberry, the pensive look, the conversations with his minions and his PA. fuck it all. fuck him, fuck her, and fuck a thousand others that I see in this Airport tube that conjures up images of the anal shaft of a large mechanical monster, designed by a nefarious God for His own dispicable purposes. There are thousands of others at this very Airport that fill me with rage, but I don't have the time to go through all of their details. Kill them all.

But first, I need a cigarrette. Motherfucker Geneva Airport tube bartender giving me a look now. Better not, motherfucker. I'll put you on the list too, motherfucker. See I have plans, but first I need a cigarrette. Let me get one. I'll check this pocket. Not there. fuck. Must be in that pocket. No! then, it must be in this pocket....surely the cigarrette is there! Fuck. where is that cigarrette? Ok, process of elimination. Brute force, pocket by pocket. What are you looking at? Shit, I think I checked that pocket. Wasn't there last time, but, maybe that psycho bartender put one IN that pocket when I wasn't looking. Goddammit! It isn't there. Fuck all pockets. I want to KILL all pockets. All pockets known to mankind are ON THE LIST.

Why is there a list? There is a list because of the uniki. What is the uniki? all in good time, all in good time. Let me just say there is a list, and there is a little airport where, hehehe, I- Jack A. Smith- will unleash the Mother of All Hells....heeehehehe. See, I'm an inventor, with 1735 patents under my belt. Why, the sum total of all of my patents is so fat, so heavy, so much like the total mass of that idiot American standing over there with his Blackberrry, that chicks often say, "My my Jack, is that one ton of patents in your pocket, or are you so happy to see me that you will explode like Krakatoa". Fuck, I mentioned "pockets", those things, that, even in the abstract, I hate. Anyway, They say that, word for word. What? you don't believe me? You're on the list too, motherfucker. Trust me.

This list formed not that long ago Jack. Well, yes, I am Jack, but so are you. I'll call you what every I want, since you won't exist when I get done with you. That list got formed when these Genevan idiots didn't buy, literally buy, the concept of the Uniki. They, along with all of mankind, pockets, and other things that I hate, will meet with their respectively violent demises, which, incidentally, will be personally and lovingly crafted by one Jack A. Smith- Inventor